A lot of clients I see for depression have come to me because I am their last hope. They tried counselling and all types of therapy and now depend on drugs for an even keel. Their paths are set in their minds.
I am going to stick my neck out here but I truly believe that no one is born depressed. Oh, I concede there are genetics and stuff but as a rule I won’t accept that things have to be just because no one has been able to prove otherwise – yet!
I don’t believe our paths are set but I do believe that an ideal destination has been, that’s specific for each of us. Years ago the Romans built one long straight road. I believe you can walk that or rather let it lead you and that you can take a few detours and have a look around on your trip.
The people that come to me with depression can only see the one road. They can’t see the signs all around them detouring them off for the scenic route. The drugs make that road easy but also keep you on that road, obliviousness to the scenic detours.
The first thing I say to them when they tell me there is no hope is ‘why are you here then?’ They come because something in them – a fire, a life force won’t give in. I believe it’s that life force that helps us choose the paths we want to take to our destination. If life really won’t get any better what’s the problem with just humouring me and taking a detour – you have nothing to lose after all.
Through Cog Hyp I gently lead them off the road and we take a minute to enjoy the view or the new perspective. We walk further down the detour and find it’s a different country with new experiences, the air tastes better…..
My clients say ‘that was nice but when I leave your hut I am back on my path, you can’t change fate’. But here’s the thing. No I can’t change your fate when you leave my hut you step back into the reality of your life. I ask my clients to notice the paving slabs leading them away from my hut and again, just to humour me, walk beside them or miss every second one on the way out. Sounds simplistic but depression is an enormous weight and burden. It’s a prison. There is no escape in my client’s minds. The path is set.
Tiny changes equal changes that seem so insignificant to my clients but start to change their mind set. Ever watched two ocean liners? One has a slight compass change, maybe only half a degree out on the other. For ages they run side by side but every hour they are slightly further apart. It’s so small a change you could not notice it but over time that tiny half a degree will have them thousands of miles apart, heading to different destinations. Clients struggle to notice that half a degree but the course is set and the path has been changed. I love it when one day they look out from the helm of their ships and realize their paths have changed. Step off the path or dare to miss every other paving slab – who knows where it could lead?
* Disclaimer: results may vary from person to person