We create our own emotion realities

Our memory is like a picture creating our own emotional realities

If you take a picture of a sunny day and happy people doing relaxing stuff and with the aid of a computer you change the cloud formation from blue to grey, you remove the sun,  add in a few thunder clouds and torrential rain you will completely change your emotional response to that picture.

If you take a favourite film and a scene of someone happily carefree skipping through the woods and change the uplifting music to the theme from Jaws, you will completely change your emotional response to that film.

Just by changing a colour or a sound we can change how you emotionally react to something. And believe me if you watch Snow White with all the happy animals to the Jaws theme music you will really struggle to not have an anxious feeling everytime you watch that movie even if you’ve given it back its original sound track.

Why is this useful to know? Well as a therapist I can’t change a past event but can change how your mind perceives that event by adjusting the memory slightly. I would be changing the grey to brighter colours and the Jaws theme to something energising, up lifting, and fun.

By doing that I can help you change for ever your emotional memory of something.  Making the memory much easier to live with or with a little more of a make-over, change it to memory that does not make you feel the need to push your anxious button.

The only thing that makes what I remember and what you remember is the emotion we attach to it that colours it.

What colour would make your emotional realities more comfortable?


  * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person

How to teach children empathy

Can you imagine a world where kids understand the words and meaning of self-worth, resilience, empathy…

I think that would heal our world, but to start to teach kids a word they maybe have to be able to pronounce it and you kind of need them to have an understanding of its true meaning. I am 50 years old and I had to look up the meaning of emotional resilience!

I write children’s books about a lad called Ollie.  Ollie has super powers.  These super powers are his emotions.  Through my training as a therapist I teach kids that they do have control of their superpowers and that only they can control them and choose what super power they want to utilise to get them through stuff. Through the Ollie stories we playfully and very simplistically introduce the concepts of resilience and empathy.  Only then do we use the big words.

I believe there are no bad kids.  I believe all behaviour serves a purpose, usually a positive or protective purpose.  And that our youngsters don’t always have the emotional understanding or language to explain where they are at sometimes and that all they can do is use the emotions we resort to in heightened emotional states, happy, angry sad etc.

Imagine a world where kids get empathy…. What would that world look like? Through the Ollie books I am doing all I can to try and ensure future generations will get to live in that world.



  *  Disclaimer : results may vary from person to person

We create our own realities!

Ever noticed when you’re feeling a bit low, maybe at the onset of a cold and someone says, “you look rough.” You suddenly think, “do I”?  “It must be man flu.” And you create that reality and it probably progresses to man flu (not to be taken as lightly man flu is real).

Or, how when you’re out with friends, having a great time and someone gets a phone call with bad news.  All of you suddenly feel instantly sad, the room seems less bright, the music less enjoyable?

We can change our realities in an instant just with the power of an emotion.

Emotions are by far the most powerful thing on our planet.  If someone could invent an emotional time bomb all other weapons would be obsolete.

In an instant we can change how we feel or think about something and that literally colours our world.

But here’s the thing.  So many people come to me with a belief created by an emotion, a belief that is holding them back.  For example ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am not attractive’. This belief was created in seconds.  So why do people struggle with the concept that what can be created in seconds by an emotion can’t be corrected in seconds by a more positive one.

Ever heard the saying be careful what you wish for?  It’s the same thing.  Be careful what you allow yourself to think.

No one can make you think, feel or colour your world unless you choose to let them.

* Disclaimer: results may vary from person to person