Growing Pains in Teenagers – School, Exams and the Stress

Growing Pains

I had a client describe her teenager as a ‘Growing Pain’   Bugger I giggled!

I don’t have kids and although sometimes its a huge regret in my life, sometimes I thank God for sparring me the growing pains or rather having to stand by helplessly why they go through them.

I am getting more and more teenagers in The Hut. Fortunately my normal therapist attire settles them – jeans!

They come because weight issues,self-esteem issues, bullying, but they also come because they get so very strung out over school work and especially exams.

One of the first youngsters I worked with was a lovely lad.  Polite, intelligent, straight A student – or should have been.

But the moment it got near exam time he went into melt down, not eating, not sleeping, becoming withdrawn – becoming a very troubling ‘Growing Pain’.  As we talked he explained that he enjoyed school and found the work easy.  He knew he knew all the answers in most exams, struggled a bit with maths but could not understand why he got in such a state on the day and did not trust the answers he wrote and had panic attacks in the middle of the exam.

I asked how he knew he knew the stuff and he explained that studying in his room, he just knew he knew. If only he could do his exams in his room and not in the exam hall that equated to failure, and panic.

Emotional Anchor

I gave him an Anchor.

No, not a pointy metal thing!! A Thought Anchor.

Before we started I asked him to give his exam fear a score.  Ten out of ten being terrified.  He got 12!!!!!

In a light trance I got him to tell me everything about his room, the decor, the lighting, the sounds and smells, and to notice how relaxed he felt there. When I could see him physically relax and smile at the thought, I lightly touched his wrist, creating a memory Anchor he could use any time.

I asked him to open his eyes and think about the exam room again. On a score of one to ten, ten being terrified, the thought was an down to 2.

Bless him.

I got him to touch his wrist and again the smile and his body relaxed.

He used the Anchor before and during the next exam and was able to place himself in his room rather than the hall.

And guess what??   He sailed through the exam and the next lot, even maths!

If you have a “Growing Pain” going through this, they really don’t have to and although it makes their world better, it will reduce the “pain” level in yours too!

Ali xxx

 

Client Review – Allowing kids to grow

Helping you to be the best you can be

Helping children and adults be all they can be is why I wanted to be a therapist.  Every time someone comes to me there is change*.  At first they may not notice it or think that it is just something that happened but over a relatively short time this change becomes a permanent thing growing each time.  And the best thing is that my clients are doing it all themselves.  All I have done is shown them the path.

I thought I would share this with you.

Ali had been recommended to me by a friend as my son (9yrs) was struggling with me & his dad separating which was impacting on his behaviour at home and school.  At the first meeting I stayed with Nathan and we must have laughed nearly all the way through it due to Ali’s way of putting us at ease.  I knew straightaway she was perfect for us and so did Nathan, who was really eager to start working 1:1 with her.  She has helped Nathan so much and I have got my happy boy back, although there are the occasional blips when I just need to remind him ‘what did Ali say’.  In a nutshell Ali is a wonderful, amazing professional with an edge of craziness who gave my son unbiased time & tools to understand his feelings & emotions, that they were OK and how to work with them.  I can’t thank her (& Ollie) enough. Caroline

 

   * Disclaimer: results may vary from person to person

Why do we have emotions?

Which emotions would I choose?

If I could choose which emotions I had, I would get rid of sad, scared and anxious! Well who wouldn’t???

Why do we have emotions?

Any of our emotions left to their own devises are not great. They are meant to work as a team, balancing one another out.  Ying and Yang. If you didn’t have grief, you would not really appreciate love.  If you only had brave you would do something daft and hurt yourself!

We need all our emotions to keep us on an even keel. But sometimes one of them hijacks us and takes control.  Like sad or anxious and then you can only hear what sad or anxious want to hear and you can only see what they want to see and you can only feel what they want to feel.  But they don’t hijack us without a reason, they are trying to tell us something and it’s usually about protection.

But we get lost in them when what we should do is pull them out of ourselves and sit them in our hands and ask them what’s wrong. Sound daft? Try it!

We are made up of a team of emotions, each has its job, but you are the captain.  When one of them is getting a little loud there is usually a reason.  Take a breath, accept it’s where you’re at, not who you are and ask your anxious self what’s wrong?

It might surprise you xx

All behaviour serves a purpose – Client Review

All Behaviour Serves a Purpose

It is always so rewarding to hear from a client (parent of a client) on how they have changed their worlds within such a short period of time *.

Often what we do to protect ourselves from one thing doesn’t allow us to be the best version of ourselves.  Therefore we need to get to the root of why we are behaving the way we do so that we can change our behaviour *.

Ali is far and away the best therapist I’ve come across, And The Ollie Model she has created is just fantastic! When my 11 year old son started seeing her his typical school day was a very miserable experience. He felt anxious, lonely, victimised and misunderstood. However in the space of just a few months Ali has managed to rebuild his self-esteem and confidence and improved his social skills so much that he now feels truly happy with his life, his friends and his achievements. I knew that he wasn’t fulfilling his potential before, but since seeing Ali he has blossomed and grown more quickly than I thought possible. This has been a life-changing transformation for my son and our whole family. I couldn’t recommend Ali highly enough – she is one of the most astute and emotionally intelligent people I have ever come across but she wears this gift lightly, using her understanding of human behaviour and her sense of humour to help get children onside with her methods.

Thank you!

Polly

11.07.17

 * Disclaimer: results may vary from person to person

Stress and Anxiety management

Turn it Off Turn it On – study day

Anxiety and Stress are increasing in our every day lives whether it be at work or at home.  But there are ways to put what ever is causing the anxiety or stress back into perspective so that you can be more effective at work and be happier at home *.

Ali runs study days that gives you techniques that will help you manage your stress and anxiety.  You will learn how to spot a potential situation that may lead to stress and anxiety and you will learn how to adapt your language to help manage a situation either at work or at home.

Ali recently worked with a group of midwives.

The East and North Hertfordshire RCM Branch organised a study day mid February as part of the Caring for you Campaign.  It was a very successful day and commenced with Katie Chilton (our Head of Midwifery) talking about the Campaign; what she had already put in place and her future plans.  The main aim of the study day was to positively support our RCM member’s wellbeing at work.  The day was presented by Ali Knowles who is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner.  The day included an introduction to NLP stress and anxiety relief techniques and strategies to deal with bullying in the workplace.

Working as a midwife can at times be difficult, making us feel vulnerable and inducing a sense of disillusion when our emotional wellbeing is not being addressed. Ali taught us some great tools to deal with these unacceptable situations. It was both a thought provoking and empowering day and has given all the attendees some skills and techniques to put in place. The day ended with some deep relaxation and hypnotherapy to engender feelings of empowerment.  Ali and her team had amazing energy and overall it was a positive day.

We would like to thank all the midwives who attended in their own time and supported the day and Gloucester ward for providing the funds for sandwiches; everyone who baked cakes which were a great hit and all that gave up their time in organising the event to make this day possible.

 

Feedback of the study day included “it was one of the best study days I’ve attended”   “it was such a great day”   “I have gained some really good skills which I hope to put in place”. 

 

If you would like more information on how to arrange a study day please contact Ali on

Ali@thehypnohut.com or give her a call 07546068881

  * Disclaimer: results may vary from person to person

 

Amazing results from the Hypno Hut – customer reviews

Customer Reviews

My job is about helping you be the best you can be.  So when I get feedback of how people have been able to change * their lives it makes me smile, getting that warm feeling inside.

I just wanted to share with you two very different clients feedback.

Just wanted to drop you a line to thank you for all your help. 

 The results I’ve achieved have surpassed my expectations and I’ve really enjoyed our sessions. 

 Each time I’ve come away relaxed and almost elated. The mind, when lead by an expert like yourself, is complex and powerful and I’ve enjoyed experimenting with mine. 

 I’m not quite ready to levitate, but I now know that if I want to I can, because I can achieve anything. 

 Thanks again. I will see you again before my op. And I really look forward to that visit. 

 

Just letting you know I haven’t smoked since our meeting last Tuesday and have no intention of ever smoking again. Can’t put into words how greatful I am.

 

Remember – All behaviour serves a purpose

 

  * Disclamer:  results may vary from person to person

Childhood shapes us – all behaviour serves a purpose!

All Behaviour serves a purpose

Anyone else watching the re runs of the classic “Birds of a Feather”?

Tonight’s episode is about Sharon and Tracy getting an invite to a school reunion. The invite comes from a lady that used to bully Sharon at school. This bully put Sharon in a dust bin and sat on the lid for hours. Classic comedy but very good.  Sharon declares that she eats so much due to that trauma, her subconscious is protecting her by making sure she can’t fit in a dust bin again!.  Class!

But the thing is, she could be a client that has come to me for help with comfort eating and weight loss. Only by working with a client and getting to the initial emotional event that caused the issue can we deal with it. This is just comedy but the truth is, just by uncovering an event from your past, that you may not connect to, allows you to look at the event and subsequent behaviour as an adult and realize in Sharon’s case that its highly unlikely anyone is going to try and put her in a bin today.  So she really does not need to eat so match to make sure it does not happen again.

Comedy moment!  Comedy explanation of comfort eating but a very good example of how your subconscious joins the dots and creates behaviours that made sense to you as a child but are completely inappropriate and unnecessary today.  And often the memory is blurred if the event was a negative one.

This sounds very, very simplistic but a client comes to me with a phobia or a habit that is holding them back in some way. Working together to get to the memory of the event that created the presenting issue is amazing to watch.  It’s a real light bulb moment for a client and often just understanding why they do what they do is enough to stop the behaviour permanently *.

All behaviour serves a purpose

Obviously some early year traumas cannot be dealt with so lightly.  But even in those cases, once a client understands why they react or behave in a certain manner it’s like watching a huge cloud lift off them. *

Birds of a Feather – one of my better memories.

 

  * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person

Derbyshire Police Conference

My biggest stage so far

What an honour to be asked to speak at the recent Derbyshire Police Conference on Wellbeing, Emotional Resilience and Anxiety.  I was a little nervous (understatement of the year) as I had seen pictures of the conference centre where this was being held so I had to use my Brave superpower to get me up on stage as my Nervous super power was hiding in the car.

With about 200 people in the room it was the biggest audience I have ever had to speak to and I loved it.  I was even mic’d up which is a new experience.  I did really well talking about resilience and wellbeing, giving something to the audience, and getting lots of engagement from them with loads of questions being asked.

I also did really well not swearing until the end.   I forgot I was mic’d up and when I was given a gift for speaking I said something a little, or maybe a lot, inappropriate.

Thank you to Bridie for asking me to do this.

Turn it off Turn if On – stress & anxiety workshop

“It was one of the best study days I’ve ever been on”

Ali was lucky enough to be asked by the midwives of North and East Hertfordshire RCM to run a Turn it off Turn it on workshop which is designed to help you learn how to manage stress and anxiety.

During the day the attendees learn a number of techniques and communications skills that allow them be better able to handle the pressure of every day work life and giving them the ability to leave work at work. Its a very emotional day as people put the things in place that have been holding them back or giving them concern.  The day is ended with a 30 minute relaxation roundup session where everything the attendees have been taught is refocused and given balance.*

From one of the attendees:

I’ve been at work this morning and I bumped into a couple of my colleagues who attended yesterday,  one of the participants stated, ” it was one of the best study days I’ve ever been on”. 

Working as a midwife can at times, be a difficult and heart wrenching job that can make us feel vulnerable and at times we get  disillusioned by a system that doesn’t always support our emotional wellbeing.  It was both a thought provoking and empowering day and it has certainly made me think about changing my own attitude and put in place some skills and techniques that we learnt .  Ali and her team have amazing energy and it was lovely they sat and chatted to us during the lunch break. I really enjoyed how the day ended, with some deep relaxation while  powerful affirmations were delivered, POWER…

  * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person

 

Ali nominated for a Best You Award

Nominee-BadgeThe Best Personal Development Author

Ali has been nominated for The Best Personal Development Author Award with the winner to be announced at the The Best You Gala ceremony on the 4th March 2017.

The award is in recognition of the most talented author that demonstrates an outstanding degree of groundbreaking achievement in Personal Development.  Ali was nominated for Ollie and his Super Powers. Knowles-Wiltshi_Ollie-and-His-S_978-1-78592-049-3_colourjpg-webhttps://www.ollieandhissuperpowers.com/

For more information about the 2017 awards, the expo or to book  tickets to the Gala event please go to  https://thebestyouexpo.com/awards/

Ali would like to thank everyone who nominated her.