I had a client describe her teenager as a ‘Growing Pain’ Bugger I giggled!
I don’t have kids and although sometimes its a huge regret in my life, sometimes I thank God for sparring me the growing pains or rather having to stand by helplessly why they go through them.
I am getting more and more teenagers in The Hut. Fortunately my normal therapist attire settles them – jeans!
They come because weight issues,self-esteem issues, bullying, but they also come because they get so very strung out over school work and especially exams.
One of the first youngsters I worked with was a lovely lad. Polite, intelligent, straight A student – or should have been.
But the moment it got near exam time he went into melt down, not eating, not sleeping, becoming withdrawn – becoming a very troubling ‘Growing Pain’. As we talked he explained that he enjoyed school and found the work easy. He knew he knew all the answers in most exams, struggled a bit with maths but could not understand why he got in such a state on the day and did not trust the answers he wrote and had panic attacks in the middle of the exam.
I asked how he knew he knew the stuff and he explained that studying in his room, he just knew he knew. If only he could do his exams in his room and not in the exam hall that equated to failure, and panic.
I gave him an Anchor.
No, not a pointy metal thing!! A Thought Anchor.
Before we started I asked him to give his exam fear a score. Ten out of ten being terrified. He got 12!!!!!
In a light trance I got him to tell me everything about his room, the decor, the lighting, the sounds and smells, and to notice how relaxed he felt there. When I could see him physically relax and smile at the thought, I lightly touched his wrist, creating a memory Anchor he could use any time.
I asked him to open his eyes and think about the exam room again. On a score of one to ten, ten being terrified, the thought was an down to 2.
I got him to touch his wrist and again the smile and his body relaxed.
He used the Anchor before and during the next exam and was able to place himself in his room rather than the hall.
And guess what?? He sailed through the exam and the next lot, even maths!
If you have a “Growing Pain” going through this, they really don’t have to and although it makes their world better, it will reduce the “pain” level in yours too!