Tag Archives: learning life’s lessons

Amazing results from the Hypno Hut – customer reviews

Posted on by
Reply

Customer Reviews

My job is about helping you be the best you can be.  So when I get feedback of how people have been able to change * their lives it makes me smile, getting that warm feeling inside.

I just wanted to share with you two very different clients feedback.

Just wanted to drop you a line to thank you for all your help. 

 The results I’ve achieved have surpassed my expectations and I’ve really enjoyed our sessions. 

 Each time I’ve come away relaxed and almost elated. The mind, when lead by an expert like yourself, is complex and powerful and I’ve enjoyed experimenting with mine. 

 I’m not quite ready to levitate, but I now know that if I want to I can, because I can achieve anything. 

 Thanks again. I will see you again before my op. And I really look forward to that visit. 

 

Just letting you know I haven’t smoked since our meeting last Tuesday and have no intention of ever smoking again. Can’t put into words how greatful I am.

 

Remember – All behaviour serves a purpose

 

  * Disclamer:  results may vary from person to person

Childhood shapes us – all behaviour serves a purpose!

Posted on by
Reply

All Behaviour serves a purpose

Anyone else watching the re runs of the classic “Birds of a Feather”?

Tonight’s episode is about Sharon and Tracy getting an invite to a school reunion. The invite comes from a lady that used to bully Sharon at school. This bully put Sharon in a dust bin and sat on the lid for hours. Classic comedy but very good.  Sharon declares that she eats so much due to that trauma, her subconscious is protecting her by making sure she can’t fit in a dust bin again!.  Class!

But the thing is, she could be a client that has come to me for help with comfort eating and weight loss. Only by working with a client and getting to the initial emotional event that caused the issue can we deal with it. This is just comedy but the truth is, just by uncovering an event from your past, that you may not connect to, allows you to look at the event and subsequent behaviour as an adult and realize in Sharon’s case that its highly unlikely anyone is going to try and put her in a bin today.  So she really does not need to eat so match to make sure it does not happen again.

Comedy moment!  Comedy explanation of comfort eating but a very good example of how your subconscious joins the dots and creates behaviours that made sense to you as a child but are completely inappropriate and unnecessary today.  And often the memory is blurred if the event was a negative one.

This sounds very, very simplistic but a client comes to me with a phobia or a habit that is holding them back in some way. Working together to get to the memory of the event that created the presenting issue is amazing to watch.  It’s a real light bulb moment for a client and often just understanding why they do what they do is enough to stop the behaviour permanently *.

All behaviour serves a purpose

Obviously some early year traumas cannot be dealt with so lightly.  But even in those cases, once a client understands why they react or behave in a certain manner it’s like watching a huge cloud lift off them. *

Birds of a Feather – one of my better memories.

 

  * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person

Turn it off Turn if On – stress & anxiety workshop

Posted on by
Reply

“It was one of the best study days I’ve ever been on”

Ali was lucky enough to be asked by the midwives of North and East Hertfordshire RCM to run a Turn it off Turn it on workshop which is designed to help you learn how to manage stress and anxiety.

During the day the attendees learn a number of techniques and communications skills that allow them be better able to handle the pressure of every day work life and giving them the ability to leave work at work. Its a very emotional day as people put the things in place that have been holding them back or giving them concern.  The day is ended with a 30 minute relaxation roundup session where everything the attendees have been taught is refocused and given balance.*

From one of the attendees:

I’ve been at work this morning and I bumped into a couple of my colleagues who attended yesterday,  one of the participants stated, ” it was one of the best study days I’ve ever been on”. 

Working as a midwife can at times, be a difficult and heart wrenching job that can make us feel vulnerable and at times we get  disillusioned by a system that doesn’t always support our emotional wellbeing.  It was both a thought provoking and empowering day and it has certainly made me think about changing my own attitude and put in place some skills and techniques that we learnt .  Ali and her team have amazing energy and it was lovely they sat and chatted to us during the lunch break. I really enjoyed how the day ended, with some deep relaxation while  powerful affirmations were delivered, POWER…

  * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person

 

Ali nominated for a Best You Award

Posted on by
Reply

Nominee-BadgeThe Best Personal Development Author

Ali has been nominated for The Best Personal Development Author Award with the winner to be announced at the The Best You Gala ceremony on the 4th March 2017.

The award is in recognition of the most talented author that demonstrates an outstanding degree of groundbreaking achievement in Personal Development.  Ali was nominated for Ollie and his Super Powers. Knowles-Wiltshi_Ollie-and-His-S_978-1-78592-049-3_colourjpg-webhttps://www.ollieandhissuperpowers.com/

For more information about the 2017 awards, the expo or to book  tickets to the Gala event please go to  https://thebestyouexpo.com/awards/

Ali would like to thank everyone who nominated her.

What part of you makes you behave as you do

Posted on by
Reply

What Part of you?

People come to the hut with an identity created by their issues – so I get “I’m, depressed, I’m an alcoholic, I’m over weight, I have no motivation, I have low self-worth etc.

URM………. My attitude is you are none of those things.  They are not who you are but they are what you’re doing at the moment. I also believe all behaviour serves a purpose, so there must be a purpose behind the way you are behaving. Most of the time that behaviour although in its self-debilitating in some way, I believe, its actually trying to protect you in some way.

Think about it.  Drinking to make stuff go away, comfort eating, not daring to try or look forward…

I truly believe that our behaviours are actually trying to help but that that help often causes more issues. A bit like taking anti-depressants to keep you on an even kill.  The intent is good but the outcome is rarely a desired solution state.

Behaviours are, in my mind, created by emotion.  Emotions are the things that make us unique individuals. With children, I call these emotions superheroes to give them substance and so I can dissociate the issue from the child. In adults I call them ‘parts of us’.

By very simply asking the part of you called depressed, or the part that thinks it’s got no confidence or the part that want to eat cake “what its problem is?”  The key being what IT’S problem is not what your problem is.  It never seizes to amaze me or my client what jumps into their minds!

I have low self-worth – well how can that be helping you?

I can’t stop eating cakes – how is that helping you?

I am depressed – how is that helping you?

Often the client can’t answer and just says it’s not!

But if I ask the part of them why it’s being so controlling – it’s amazing what comes out

I have no self-worth – well if I keep myself thinking that I won’t try so cant fail like last time when….

I can’t stop eating cakes – well if I keep eating cakes I feel loved close mum used to give me sweets and cakes when I was sad so………..

I am depressed – well if I stay depressed I won’t expect and won’t be disappointed again like last time when….

Generalisations but you get my drift.

All behaviour serves a purpose and that purpose is trying to protect you.

I don’t waste your time trying to make you laugh or stop eating cakes, quick fixes that solve the effect but don’t deal with cause. I work with you to help you with the issue doing what you do is protecting you from. Parts therapy is powerful because it starts straight away by making what you are struggling with part of you not all of you, freeing you from that identity, so you can look at the issue its trying to block out. *

 * disclaimer: results may vary from person to person

Why try Hypnotherapy

Posted on by
Reply

Well let’s start with what is hypnosis?

To be hypnotised is to be in a trance state. To be trapped in a behaviour or thought.  Think about what your struggling with right now, a habit you want to kick, a fear or phobia that controls you – well that’s you in a trance,

My job as a” hypnotherapist” is to break you out of that trance state. Set you free from it.

But in order to do that we have to understand why you created the trance state in the first place. I believe all behaviour serves a purpose. Consider a fear of dogs, when you see a dog you get anxious – that is your body protecting you.  That’s your amazing subconscious remembering an incident that created your phobia and doing its best to stop you being in any danger going forward, so it heightens your awareness of dogs and makes you anxious, creating a phobia.

So all though the phobia can be deliberating it’s actually designed to try and protect you.

So not only does all behaviour serve a purpose, it’s trying to serve a positive one!

To free you from that protective behaviour we have to understand where it came from and if it’s still a need in you to be so alert.

I do that by helping you revisit the initial event.  Cliché as it may sound it’s often something from your child hood because that when we are learning how to stay safe in our world.

More often than not, the first event that created your habit or fear or phobia was created in a much younger less capable, less aware you than you are today.

An example – let’s use the dog phobia…

A lady in her 40’s came to me as she has had a phobia of dogs all her life and wants to marry the love of her life but guess what? Yep he comes with two dogs!

Well, we spent some time going back to her initial event that created her fear. Her memory was of being little and being mauled by a huge dog!

Scary – no wander she has a phobia!

Through NLP language techniques we were able to find the true event in her memory. I say true because every time we bring up a memory we change it without knowing it. You see you and but you cannot think like you did as a child because you know more, you are more worldly wise, you are bigger, stronger.

So every time you remember something you will be adding your current belief systems to that event.

When we cut through that and actually got this lovely lady to travel back down her life line to the event and watch as if watching a movie, what we say was a young girl in the park and an overzealous puppy bounding up to lick her but because she was small it toppled her over and she hurt her arm as she fell. 

As an adult watching this she realised that the dog was not trying to maul her, in fact it did not really hurt her at all – it was just because she was so little.

The lovely lady realised instantly that that could not happen again – a puppy could not knock her over, the dog was only playing….

She is still mindful of big dogs but I am happy to report that she has let go of her phobia of all dogs and wedding bells are ringing again.

All behaviour serves a purpose and usually a protective one, but the key is that that behaviour was created in a time and place and circumstance that doesn’t exist now and cannot exist now.

 * Disclaimer: results may vary from person to person

All behaviour serves a purpose

Posted on by
Reply

All behaviour serves a purpose

And it’s controlled by your own little body guard!

A young girl was bought to me because she had been expelled from school.  Well schools to be precise, because of unruly behaviour and stealing from home – her foster home.

She would do anything to gain attention that usually resulted in detention.

Various therapists had tried to help her recognise her behaviour was not acceptable but to no avail.

It seems – “stop it” was just not registering with her.

She did not want to talk to me, another therapist, and so I didn’t try to engage her.  I just requested that as she was here and I appreciated she did not want to be, that she should amuse herself for the hour while I got on with some work.

I then turned my back on her and started to talk to my toy doll, Ollie.

“Well Ollie, I don’t believe that you like getting into so much trouble, so I guess your little body guard super power has a good reason for it.  Can I talk to him please?”

I then proceeded to pull out the little bodyguard superpower from Ollie and with it gently cupped in my hand I began talking to it.

“Now little chap, this is interesting because the little girl sat behind me is with a foster family too so you two have a lot in common.” (I caught the little girl out of the corner of my eye- she was watching me)

“Ok little bodyguard.  Now either you hate school and hate your foster family…… but no, that can’t be it, because you’re the bodyguard and you’re about protection, so let me see, how is this behaviour helping you protect Ollie?”

I then suggested some things e.g.

“Do you steal to make people hate you…. now that can’t be it because you then do all you can for their attention….”

“Do you misbehave so people won’t like you…..? Now that can’t be it because you want their attention…”

“Ok little chap, you got me, I think I might finally have been beaten – I admit – I don’t know why you’re doing these things.”

I looked crest fallen and sat very quiet with a very sad look on my face. After a few minutes the little girl said very quietly “maybe it’s not because he wants attention.”

Without turning around I said, “Really – you think – no – I don’t understand that… it has to be about getting attention.”

The little girl said, “Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to be hungry.”

I still did not turn round but stayed focussed on Ollie, “no I don’t think that’s it – his foster family are lovely and take care of him so that can’t be it.”

The little girl said, “Maybe he is afraid that they might not feed him or his little sister and….”

At that point I turned around, the little girl was in tears….

Basically, she and her sister were in foster care because of an abusive family life, part of which was being locked in their room with no food for – well I don’t know how long.  If she clowned around and made her parents and their friends laugh she got “thrown” food! So she had learnt that if she acted up and did what the kids at school dared her to do they would give her sweets, she stole food from home and was hiding it and money in her room – just in case.

 All behaviour serves a purpose………..

Working with her lovely foster mum we got her a box and filed it with food, that was her emergency box for her and her little sister. Then we started working on getting her through the abuse her and her sister had suffered.

There are no bad kids, all behaviour serves a purpose and in kids it’s usually drills down to their need of security and feeling safe. I am pleased to report she has settled down and better still it looks like her foster family may well become her forever home.

   * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person

 

Learn to speak ‘ Ollie ‘

Posted on by
Reply

An evening with Alison Knowles, author of the Ollie and his Super Powers series of books.

Ollie and his Super Powers are going on the road with dates being set for an evening introduction to speaking ‘Ollie’.  The first event is being held in St Ives, at the Free Church on the 7th September, 7-9pm.  Tickets are only £5 and are available on the door or you can get them from Caroline on Caroline@subconquest.co.uk.

You will learn why Ollie came about and get an understanding of how to use the Ollie language every day.  Its set to be an interesting evening with lots of laughs and some really useful tips.  You will also get to meet a few of our Coaches that have been trained in how to use the Ollie techniques.  The toys and books will be available to buy at discounted rates.

 

Making the difference – testimonial from a mum

Posted on by
Reply

Testimonial from a mum that really makes me want to do what I do.

When you get feedback that you have helped someone to be the best version of themselves it really brings it home that what you are doing is making a difference.  It might only be little steps initially but the journey has began  Or it might be big leaps and bounds with it being a ride on a jet plane.  It doesn’t matter which journey it is and it doesn’t matter how much time it takes, all that matters is that we have started that engine and we are off…..

Please read on as below as a mum describes her sons journey

Testimonial

I looked for and found Ali because the medical and school system were letting my 8 year old child down.

The Child Mental Health Service wouldn’t see him because he didn’t have specific behavioural problems and the schools inclusion worker was very nice but under the pump and 20mins a week wasn’t really effective.

As parents we had tried everything we could think of. He was being bullied, he struggled with playground politics, he wasn’t coping with the mean words being thrown at him, he spent a lot of the school day crying and/or getting frustrated, which made the bullying worse, he was getting socially isolated, he was starting to refuse to go to school, his teacher was starting to lose patience and I was feeling like it was all spiralling. I felt like this needed to be resolved now and not wait “until he matures” or “until the bullies get bored”.

From the first day we met Ali my son took to her and the way she spoke and communicated with him. She was open with him and he understood what she did and engaged with her. After one session he was on a high. So happy! Like something had been released. Someone had finally told him HOW to cope with all these feelings he was having.

He took his Ollie figure in his pocket to school so when the bad words came he could squeeze the figure and the armour would come up and protect his “heart” and over the next few days he started to work it out. One day saying “there were a few holes in my armour today mum cos some bad words got through but I will make it stronger tomorrow”.

And he has built and built up his resilience. He said to me yesterday that a child had been saying mean things and that he had only needed to squeeze Ollie for 5 seconds and he felt ok and didn’t cry and the boy left him alone. He was elated. He hasn’t said he doesn’t want to go to school for ages and seems more confident and happier and the school have noticed a change too. He said he doesn’t want/need to be in social inclusion anymore cos he has Ali now. He doesn’t come out of school in tears looking like the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

I am relieved we have found a person and a technique that is so simple but actually genius and it works. It just works!

I would recommend anyone spend an hour with Ali and Ollie’s superpowers and guarantee they will come out feeling more resilient, supported and special because they now have superpowers too!

Signed :  Nicky

Learn More

If you want to learn more about Ollie and his Super Powers and the work I do specifically with children please go to https://www.ollieandhissuperpowers.com/ .  Alternatively give me a call.

 

  * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person

Once upon a time there was a man with a ruck sack.

Posted on by
Reply

Learning life’s lessons

He spent his time wondering round the world cleaning up after his friends and family – picking up all their problems and worries and putting them in his ruck sack so that people around him did not trip over them of get contaminated by them. It was hard work but he loved the adoration he got for doing it. Everyone saying what a lovely guy he was – how caring – how selfless….

The man felt good because he was carry the baggage so those he loved did not have too, and they liked him for it.   He did this all his life – his short life because carrying all that weight and contamination was hard work and put extra strain on his body.  Physically from the weight and emotionally from the contamination seeping out of his ruck sack.   It was too much and one day his body gave up.

God said to him “why have you been carrying everyone else’s baggage all your life?”

“Well,” said the man, “so those I love are free to be all they can be and get all they can from life.”

“Ah,” said God, “yes life is about living and learning and if you get it right you get to stay here for eternity and rest.  But all those you have carried baggage for will not be able to stay here.  They will have to go back without you because all that baggage your carrying is life lessons and when you hid those lessons in your ruck sack no one learned anything.  So they must go back and go through those lessons again.  So you have not really helped them”.

“Ah,” said the man, “but as I did this thing with a good heart, I take it I can stay here now and rest?”

“No,” said God, “you were so busy and so consumed trying to carry others baggage,you forgot to deal with your own, or rather so you could avoid dealing with your own.”

“But I am happy.  I don’t have any baggage. I have had a happy life,” Said the man.

“Really,” said God, “put that ruck sack down.  How happy are you without the sack of other people’s problems to hide behind?”

The man suddenly felt very naked, very vulnerable, and a little lost.

“Back you go,” said God.

 

  * Disclaimer:  results may vary from person to person